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Saturday, May 15, 2010

When to Leave God

Leaving the faith... a topic I don't usually see other Christians discuss so openly.  Perhaps it's because we've all considered walking away from God when our lives fell apart.  Or maybe we lost faith and were so filled with condemnation we didn't think God would want us back.

Or maybe we tire of the same routine of going to church on Sunday, Bible Study or cell groups during mid-week, then we drag ourselves through the rest of the week, usually in failure.

Such is the life of many Christians I know, including myself.

I remember a Keith Green song:

To obey is better than sacrifice,
I don't need your money, I want your life.
And I hear you say that I'm coming back soon,
But you act like I'll never return.

How often do we find ourselves thinking that we're "good with God" just because we show up for church services on Sunday and speak Christianese?  I've never led anyone to Christ because they knew how much time and money I gave to my church. 

God doesn't expect us to be perfect, though Paul admonishes us to "aim for perfection."   He knew that His grace would cover us because we were in need of grace.   For whatever reason, whether through hurt, sorrow, or bitterness, we come to the point where we stop turning to God and turn and walk away.
I"ve almost done that.  Many times.   In fact I used to struggle that I too would somehow fall from God's grace so far that His long merciful arm could not reach me.  But I was wrong.  

Every time I found myself turning to give up on God, he proved that he was there and that he never gave up on me.  God understood my frailties, and though I'm sure he was saddened when I wandered, he did more than wait patiently for my return.  He let the rain fall on me and showered me with his faithfulness.  

I was asked a question this morning: "Why didn't you leave God and how do you keep the faith?"

My answer was "The plain truth is this: I can't leave the faith because God never left me."


5 comments:

  1. Well said, little sister.

    I could just as easily have said these words, and have many times to myself.

    But the important thing is that HE NEVER LEFT US, and that is where the real responsibility lies...we only need to cling to that one thread of truth and the rest will eventually work itself out.

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  2. It is when we face hardships and loss that our Faith can really grow

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  3. While I cannot profess to know the mind of God, I feel that it is impossible for God to abandon us. Due to the self imposed filters we have in our minds, it is difficult for us to see God is here with us always and when it seems that God has left us, it is really that we have separated from God.

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  4. "When we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself."

    I remember telling God that I wish He would go away, and that I wish I had never been bought by Him. As soon as I said it, I thought of how Jesus must have looked when locked eyes with Peter after Peter denied Him and as He was being led away to die. I was horrified and I cried as hard as I ever have in my life. The above verse saved me.
    He is faithful BECAUSE I am faithless. He holds me when I let go.

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  5. Good to see you back! (hugs)

    One of the things that worried me most about being trans was whether God would condemn me for it. So many years back when I came across the "Grace and Lace Letters", Dr Becky, and Transgender Christians I felt major relief that I just may not burn in hell.

    Still I did not feel God wanted me to be a girl or like my dad once told me, "he would have made you one". So I continued to fight such feelings even after feeling God would still accept me. Of course I eventually lost the battle and thought maybe God had a purpose for me with this. To show his "unconditional love".

    These days it's hard for me to believe there is really a God. Maybe I wanted badly to believe in heaven because this life seemed so unfair. Some say I am still angry at God for making me trans. I won't deny that when it really bugs me I'll cuss and blame him. Not that I really believe he's there it's just and outlet for frustrations. These days the supernatural doesn't seem real to me.

    I like the teachings of Christ but Christians are so unlike him. When something is unexplainable we tend to use God as the answer. I don't know why it is so hard for folks to say, they just don't know.

    But it's good that there are trans people of faith out there. And I'm glad to see you back.

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